Why do so many people believe in the absoluteness of right or wrong? This denies the very real possibility – probability – that there is more than one way to skin a cat. This line of thinking goes especially well with the person who is possessed of the victim mentality. If your choice is other than theirs they project their insecurity on you and accuse you of judging them.
Take having kids for example. A beautiful experience – no denying – but not everyone’s choice. Does that mean there is something wrong with those who make the choice if you don’t? Of course not. But try explaining your lack of kids to someone who believes that’s our reason for being on earth. Good luck if your reason is not medical – and be prepared to offer proof (and adopt) if your reason is medical.
I enjoy children and I’ve done my share of raising those in our family. I have a niece who looks 10 times more like me than her mom – a fact that her mom has only just recently accepted (like yesterday). Strangers constantly assume she is my biological child even when my sister is standing with us. So as far as the need to add someone to the world who reminds me of myself – I’m straight, that item on the list was checked off for me.
Still when it’s known that I haven’t given birth, people feel free to make the rudest comments. And even though I will be 40 in about a month I am harrassed about when I plan to start a family. Um, how about never – and no it is not an indictment of your viable choice to have 8 kids and run a self-sustaining farm. That is a valid option and if you like it, I love it.
I hear ya sis! I too don’t have or want children …will be 43 in 3 weeks and still get the same remarks as you. By the way Happy Belated 40th.